SEXUAL ISSUES
2:31 AM
Q - I'm leading a group of 11 - 17years . At this age young people start having problems with sexual life. How can I be close to them and help them face their problems? They don't want to talk about that.
A - If I understand your problem, you know that your Scouts have questions about sexuality but you cannot help them because they do not dare to speak to you about that.
You have to consider that at the time of adolescence (between 11 and 17) young people have many personal problems, not only about sexuality. At this age, young people have to face many changes both individual and social. Their body is changing (it grows and will reach adult size and maturity quickly), their mind is changing (they will acquire the ability to think by hypotheses and deductions), their social relations are changing (they become aware of a larger social world and look for more experience and more autonomy). They have to build their personal identity and discover their role in the society as a man or a woman. They have to discover new emotions and sexual relationships.
This a challenging time for any young person and even if they refuse to admit it, they are confused and anxious and they are looking for trusting relationships with adults able to understand them and communicate with them.
You have to respect their intimacy. Trying to force confidence - particularly on sexual matters which are very intimate - would be a mistake. It is essential to keep some distance. Young people do not like adults who pretend to be like them. However you have to be prepared to seize an opportunity and welcome any question or confidential information.
Scouting is a method of non-formal education. It provides many informal opportunities for discussions and reflection. While cooking or walking or sitting around the camp fire there is often time for free discussions and exchanges.
Do not lose these opportunities, as they are often the best. For example, during a hike, when walking in small groups, young people frequently raise serious issues and ask their questions.
This is also a matter of confidence. Young people speak to you about their personal problems because they trust you and confidence is built step by step during Scout activities.
When young people discover that you are reliable they will speak with you. And for them, reliable people are people who are able to listen before giving lessons, people who are friendly but mature (not people "playing a fake role"), people who speak to them about daily problems and not only about Scout activities, people who share with them their questions and their hopes (not people who are certain about anything), people able to keep their intimate secrets, etc.
Do not try to go too fast. Take your time and the day will come when young people will speak to you about their intimate problems.
Then maybe, if needed, you could propose some more formal time to bring support and advice (a debate or a meeting with a professional counsellor or psychologist)
A - If I understand your problem, you know that your Scouts have questions about sexuality but you cannot help them because they do not dare to speak to you about that.
You have to consider that at the time of adolescence (between 11 and 17) young people have many personal problems, not only about sexuality. At this age, young people have to face many changes both individual and social. Their body is changing (it grows and will reach adult size and maturity quickly), their mind is changing (they will acquire the ability to think by hypotheses and deductions), their social relations are changing (they become aware of a larger social world and look for more experience and more autonomy). They have to build their personal identity and discover their role in the society as a man or a woman. They have to discover new emotions and sexual relationships.
This a challenging time for any young person and even if they refuse to admit it, they are confused and anxious and they are looking for trusting relationships with adults able to understand them and communicate with them.
You have to respect their intimacy. Trying to force confidence - particularly on sexual matters which are very intimate - would be a mistake. It is essential to keep some distance. Young people do not like adults who pretend to be like them. However you have to be prepared to seize an opportunity and welcome any question or confidential information.
Scouting is a method of non-formal education. It provides many informal opportunities for discussions and reflection. While cooking or walking or sitting around the camp fire there is often time for free discussions and exchanges.
Do not lose these opportunities, as they are often the best. For example, during a hike, when walking in small groups, young people frequently raise serious issues and ask their questions.
This is also a matter of confidence. Young people speak to you about their personal problems because they trust you and confidence is built step by step during Scout activities.
When young people discover that you are reliable they will speak with you. And for them, reliable people are people who are able to listen before giving lessons, people who are friendly but mature (not people "playing a fake role"), people who speak to them about daily problems and not only about Scout activities, people who share with them their questions and their hopes (not people who are certain about anything), people able to keep their intimate secrets, etc.
Do not try to go too fast. Take your time and the day will come when young people will speak to you about their intimate problems.
Then maybe, if needed, you could propose some more formal time to bring support and advice (a debate or a meeting with a professional counsellor or psychologist)
